A Morning to Mourn
by LilyGhost
Summary: Ranger and Stephanie, their work family, and his blood one, comfort each other when they all suffer the same loss.


**All familiar characters are Janet's. The others and any mistakes are mine. **

"There really should be a Rangeman flag that we can fly at half-mast today," I said into Ranger's spine.

He had gotten off the phone after hearing that a long-time Manoso family friend had died late last night. He'd walked to the window and stood staring blankly outside without saying anything more than the basis of the call he'd just received from his mother. Having known Ranger forever now, and being his other/more annoying half for a solid year on top of that, I met and also fell in love instantly with Agostino right along with the rest of the family. That adoration continued to grow with every dinner, talk, or phone call, I was lucky enough to have with him.

And because of that, my face is in need of a _sponge_, not just a stupid tissue, to soak up the result of my free-flowing waterworks. But _my _personal grief I'll deal with later. Ranger is my focus right now, so I gave him a few seconds to let this sink in before I provided some comfort whether he likes it or not.

"I know you don't allow yourself to love a lot of people," I said, after an internal sigh of relief when he didn't break free so he could bear this loss alone. He had even tugged me around to his side so I can hold him like I need to. "So I understand the level of shitty you're feeling right now ... it hurts more when your list of people you care about is a condensed one."

Again, he didn't say anything, but the arm he had around me tightened and he dropped a kiss on the top of my head. I took both as signs that we will continue to do everything together, even figure out how to navigate our grief.

"The word lost a good one," he said, after another beat of silence.

"I know he wasn't _my _family like he was yours, but I already miss him like crazy. _He's _the bright spot I always look forward to on our darker days."

"I know, Babe. A message from him could make your face light up even faster than a freshly-fried doughnut can. He was that beacon of light for a lot of people."

"What are we going to do without him?" I asked.

"We do what I've always done when I've had to say goodbye to someone who should have outlived me. We live _for _him."

"And if someone like me says that I feel sorta guilty that I'm here and he isn't?" I had to ask. "I've taken a lot of chances I shouldn't have survived. All he did was live a good life and then fight like hell to stay alive for as long as it was physically possible for his body to."

Seeing firsthand how Agostino lived his life for others ... whether through his early years in the service, his career spent protecting his community - not unlike what we do here at Rangeman - and the lifetime of community service that had nothing to do with a court ordering it, I can't help but feel that _he _deserved to live more than some of us.

"He was special, but so are you. _DO NOT _let me hear that you _ever _believe otherwise."

"I'm supposed to be making _you _feel better, not the other way around."

"You always make me feel better just by being here with me."

"I'm relieved to hear that, but I don't feel like I'm doing anything to help. Should I go talk to Tank so you don't have to? Do I call your Mom back and ask if she needs us to stop and pick up something or someone on our way over there? Or do I just curl up on you and ugly-cry for all of us for a few minutes?"

"All of that will likely be needed by the end of the day. But right now, how about you come with me while I tell Tank, and then Bobby and Lester right after," Ranger said, which shocked me a little bit.

I used to only hear about these types of emotional-hits _after _the fact, and well _after _he himself had dealt with them. But not only was I less than a foot away from him when he was told the crushing news, he actually wants me with him while he informs his core team of our - and also their - loss.

"I'm with you for whatever you need," I promised him.

He acknowledged that with a quick kiss placed on my mouth. No longer sure if _he _needed me or I really need him right now, I kept both of my arms locked around his waist as we paused before leaving his office for our own personal moment of silence in honor of the man we both viewed as a second - or my case a surrogate - father-figure.

I had to fight the urge to pull Ranger back to prevent the pain he's going to experience and spread with this horrible news, but he's never once backed down from a fight, and I know he won't shirk his Rangeman or Manoso duties despite me really wanting him to.

"What's going on?" Tank asked, as Ranger and I entered his office and shut the door behind us.

"Agostino is gone," Ranger told him.

"Gone where?" Tank asked. "He shouldn't be traveling until he gets stronger."

"Not gone _somewhere_, gone _permanently_," I heard Ranger tell him.

I was busy picturing the man I nicknamed 'Tio Stino' vacaying somewhere far from Jersey, to think about him permanently partying in what Grandma refers to as the hereafter. Call me greedy, but I want him back with us down here.

I thought I stifled my sob, but it managed to sneak out anyway. In agony and embarrassment, I buried my face in Ranger's chest when he tugged me close again.

"What the fuck?" Tank asked, dropping back into his chair, disbelief spreading all over his typically expressionless face. "I know he was hitting a rough patch, but ..."

"But you believed like I did that he would kick cancer's ass the same way he conquered every other obstacle he's ever had to face," Ranger said, putting his hand on Tank's shoulder and squeezing it in comfort. "He did his damnedest to."

My heart squeezed painfully as I thought about how many times they've been through something like this and had to be there for each other. Now I'm here wanting to console both of them.

"He did," I added. "And Tio Stino packed _three_ lives into the one he lived, so I'm not surprised that he got tired, but _... Damn it!_"

I had to stop as another wave of anguish rolled through me and almost knocked me off my feet this time. This just proves that you can try to prepare yourself for a particular outcome, but your mind can still fight it every step of the way. And every part of me is fighting our current reality. _I _don't want to accept it, yet I'm supposed to be helping Ranger and Tank deal with this.

"Breathe, Babe," Ranger told me.

His fingers had tunneled through my hair and had started to massage my scalp as if to soften where this blow had landed in the parts of my brain supposedly in charge of my emotions.

"I am, but it doesn't seem to be helping. Sorry. I'm supposed to be the strong one for the two of you."

"Knowing how thoroughly he's affected you, is a testament to what a good guy Agostino was ... will _always _be," Ranger told me.

"I don't like thinking about a world without him in it," Tank said, his voice sounding as if it were being shoved unwilling through a grater.

"You'll have to," Ranger told him. "We'll honor him by continuing to do what he was so proud of us for doing here. He may be gone, but his influence will live on."

"You stay with Tank," I told Ranger. "I'll go track down Bobby and Lester. You guys need each other right now."

I found Lester in his typical spot, the control room kitchen. And I quickly realized that my lack of a poker face extends beyond a table in Atlantic City.

"What's wrong?" He asked immediately, after his head re-emerged from the depths of the fridge.

"Where's Bobby?" I asked instead.

"Last I saw him, he was helping Louis carry something down to the store room."

"Can you find him for me and then the two of you join Ranger and I in Tank's office?"

His instincts are spot on. He tensed before speaking. "This isn't good, is it?"

I scrubbed my face with both hands, still hoping to completely stop tears from forming. Though it hasn't happened since Mama Manoso's phone call ended and our world was changed forever.

"No," I told him. "But I can honestly say the worst has already happened."

"Fuck," he said on his way to the monitoring station for some help in locating Bobby. Before I'd made it out of the control room, he was back beside me. "He's taking the stairs now."

Being in superhuman shape, Bobby was coming through the stairwell door almost at the same time we reached it.

"What's going on?"

"It's Ranger's place to say," I told him, "but I want to be there for you when he does. You may not have noticed this, but Ranger and Tank aren't big huggers."

"Unless _you're _involved," Lester pointed out.

"That's why they pay me the big bucks. I'm like a Rangeman-issued stress ball."

And being really good at my job, I slid an arm around both as we walked the too-short distance to Tank's office. Ranger was on the phone with Celia when we walked back in after a quick '_We're here_' knock. I only know his sister was on the other end of the line because he mouthed her name when my eyebrows had gone up in question.

"We'll be leaving soon. See you when we get there. Drive carefully," he ordered Celia.

I almost wanted to grin. It's such a Ranger thing to say. Even in the middle of a family tragedy, he's actively trying to prevent another one from happening.

"Steph wouldn't say what we should be bracing for, but I know it's bad," Lester said to Ranger.

"Agostino passed away last night," Ranger informed them.

Damn it, there are the freakin' eye-waterfalls again. This seems to be getting _harder _to hear every time the news is shared.

"Fuck no," Lester said, sounding like he's flat-out refusing delivery on this information. "He told me he was going to beat this. _He promised_."

I glanced towards Ranger and he nodded, so I did my stress ball-thing and hugged Lester. I don't need Ranger's okay to comfort the guys, but I had to know it's okay to. Depending on the day or the trigger, a simple attempt to help, could hurt the men instead.

"He promised that to make _you_ feel better," Ranger told him. "I fully believe he fought as hard, and for as long, as he did just for those of us that love him and were scared of losing him."

"That would be just like him," Bobby added, as I let go of Lester and went back to Ranger. "Agree to more - or more aggressive - treatments just hoping _we _won't have to say goodbye to _him_ ... not caring how sick or weak the drugs made him."

Tank summed this up in three words. "This fucking sucks."

"It does," Ranger agreed.

"What are we supposed to do now?" Lester asked.

"Tank, Steph, and I, are heading to my parents' house. Nothing pulls the Manosos tighter together than the death of one of our own. You two are welcome to join us. If you'd prefer to process this alone, I understand, but I would _strongly_ advise against it."

"Yeah, we're going to need each other to get through this," I added. "One of the best things about being a Range-Man is no one has to go through anything alone."

"I'm coming along," Bobby told us. "It's not like I'm going to get any work done now, but maybe I can be useful there."

"Same here," Lester said. "If misery loves company, I should add my share of it."

Ranger put Cal in charge for the day, and our small caravan left for Newark. As soon as the front door of the Manoso homestead was opened, I found myself engulfed in a Mama Manoso hug. My stomach formed a knot when it occurred to me that the shaking her body is doing wasn't caused by laughter as it typically is. Today's trembles are due to the despair of realizing that a twenty-seven-year friendship is just … _over_ … in the span of a heartbeat.

While I tried to comfort Ranger's Mom, I saw that Ranger was doing the same with his father, while Tank, Bobby, and Lester, were responsible for either a Manoso grandparent or sibling when our grief parade finally made it inside.

Without bothering to wipe my eyes anymore, mine found and held Ranger's. We don't need to say the words out loud, the feeling generated by everyone in the room with us spoke them for us. Our pieced-together family may have just lost one of its most-treasured members, but together _as a family _... we'll keep Agostino and his memory forever alive.


End file.
